Dear men, the following might be news for you. Our job is not to protect women. I swear, this is the truth. However, our job is to make sure they don’t get attacked by us in the first place. In order to do so, we need to let go of the savior complex. This is not the solution.
How do we do that?
1. First, by acknowledging that men are one of the main threats to women’s wellbeing today. If you want to access some resources about the correlation between Violence and Manhood, you can access it here.
2. Second, by identifying how every single one of us is engaging, or has engaged in toxic behavior in any shape or form; knowing that by-standing is a behavior as well.
3. Third, by being inquisitive on what our culture is asking of us; which means by being critical about what masculinity is and by identifying our harmful unconscious biases about women.
4. Fourth, by writing an authentic script of masculinity that respects both genders and that is not based on domination and objectification of women.
5. Fifth, by inviting other men to get introspective about masculinity and by building a culture of healthy manhood. The latter implies calling out toxic behaviors when witnessed regardless of the consequences.
In the future, please keep that savior complex sh*t in your pocket.
Don’t go for the quick fix, the easy punch or the judgmental finger pointing.
Do the hard work that is required of us.
We don’t need more saviors.
We don’t need to prove to ourselves and to each other that we are good guys.
We need to stop creating and enabling predators.
We don’t need to fix anything.
We need to stop breaking everything.